Friday, June 20, 2008

How to guide people with fixing their computers

Rule number 1: Always stay serious, don't try to laugh, no matter what.

Here's a collection of funny quotes or subjects from people who needed help with their computer. They were posted at several different forums and via chat support.
Most were collected from geekstogo forums, bleeping computers, SWI and some Dutch forums.

My favorite top 10:


If I do get a new comp
Ill get windows 98
saves memory

Good idea!!

Subject: "Problem with massages popping"

I wouldn't mind the massages.

miekiemoes: Did you perform a scan or anything else before this happened?
user: brainscan

Guess what.. the brain was severly infected!

Internet explorer was changed to pizza SLICE.

With extra anchovies, olives and mozzarella??

Subject: "virus will not leave me alone!, please help me before my brain explodes!"

Please format and reinstall your brain asap!

The 4 pins that are missing are around the edge of the 'gold triangle' in the corner of the CPU. I have tried replacing the pins by placing a piece of copper wire in the slot where the missing pins are but I think that might be the cause of my PC crashing so I have taken them out.

It would have been better if you used electrical wire.

You know I hear something in the PC box going, like little dominos falling really fast all the darn time or like there is a bleeping little mouse in there playing a bleeping cadence on a bleeping little snare drum all the bleeping time...

From a Dutch forum:
Heb een scan met verschillende progamma's gedaan maar niets gevonden. Als ik de pc opnieuw opstart krijg ik een soort alarm te horen wat een minuut lang blijft afgaan. Daarna wordt mn scherm zwart en verschijnt er een hele rij kaarsjes, die een voor een worden opgelicht....

I scanned my system with several different programs but nothing was found.
When I restart my computer, I hear an alarm for about one minute.
Then my screen goes black and afterwards, a row of candles appear on my screen which get enlighted one by one...

Happy NewYear!!

I am also thinking of making my monitor black and white to make those
viruses and trojans think i have an ancient pc and not worh attacking.

Best prevention ever! Thanks for the tip!

And the Winner is:

Today I tried to hide my lunch bar chocolates from my brother by taping them to the inside of the side panel of my pc(total disregard for PC components I know but no way was he getting me booty) Any how the tape didn't hold and the chocolate wound up in one of the fans(not a pretty sight) -sigh-. Pc is still fine though (thank God)

you forgot to add the milk for making the chocolate mousse

Feel free to add more in the Comments section below :)

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